Hypnosis for SHAME and GUILT

A few years ago, a client came for counselling to manage his anxiety and alcohol consumption.
He talked about his business failure several years earlier and the shame he felt.
So much so that only those very close to him know about it. In the eyes of his distant family, neighbours and business acquaintances, he has officially retired early…

(the story continues at the end of the article…)

Shame : Emotion or Feeling?

Shame can be an emotion

Meaning an immediate and generally short-lived reaction to a situation perceived as embarrassing, humiliating or at odds with social or personal norms. Associated reactions may include blushing, sweating or the urge to hide.

But shame can also be a feeling, which can persist long after the initial emotion has disappeared.

This often leads to a vicious circle of rumination about the triggering event, with the impossibility of talking about it further intensifying the feeling of shame that becomes increasingly central, even obsessive, in the person’s life.

This can have a profound effect on the way people perceive themselves and interact with the world, influencing their behaviour, particularly their social behaviour, and affecting their self-esteem over a long period.

The difference between Shame and Guilt

When we fail, when we feel we are not living up to our own expectations or those of our social group, or when we transgress a social or moral norm, we may suffer from feelings of inadequacy, incompetence and inferiority.
For example, after cheating in an exam, lying or refusing to help someone in need.

We may then feel ashamed, guilty or a mixture of both.

A distinction is generally made between :

• Guilt, which is more focused on a specific action or behaviour, often with the awareness of having wronged someone and the desire to make amends.
• Shame, which is more focused on oneself, on one’s own imperfection, and attacks one’s self-image and self-esteem. Shame can lead to a desire to hide or can turn into aggression in an attempt to protect the ego.

Even if these feelings are unpleasant, they have a social benefit: they lead the person to reflect on the impact of their actions, to try to make amends and possibly to change their behaviour to better respect the values and norms of the group.

Triggers and Consequences of Shame

Triggers for shame can be linked to :

• Failure or something perceived as such, with a feeling of not living up to personal, family or social expectations.
• Behaviour that conflicts with a person’s deeply held values.
• Social judgement, with a fear of ridicule, rejection or humiliation.

Sometimes there is an overlap of the 2 and even a stacking of successive experiences that will profoundly affect the person’s life.

The consequences of shame can be devastating, both psychologically and physically:

• Lowered self-esteem, with a feeling of inadequacy or imposture syndrome
• Social isolation to avoid situations where you might be judged.
• Psychological, behavioural and even physiological problems: anxiety, depression, social avoidance, sometimes eating disorders, addictions, etc.

How Hypnosis can help you deal with Shame and Guilt

Hypnosis is a therapeutic technique that induces a state of deep relaxation and focused concentration.
This state, known as hypnotic trance, enables us to work on our behaviour and thoughts at an unconscious or automatic level.

In the case of shame or guilt, therapeutic hypnosis can help to :

• Reduce stress and anxiety:
  In a calmer, more detached state, the person will work on separating events from their inner discourse and emotional experience. Sometimes they can finally express their emotions verbally with the hypnotherapist or symbolically from within.
• Change your perspective on the situations that give rise to feelings of shame or guilt.
  To rework them in a delicate way, often symbolically or metaphorically, to recontextualise them and reduce their emotional impact.
• Reprogram limiting beliefs:
  The hypnotic state can provide new perspectives on past events and develop more positive beliefs, helping to replace feelings of shame with feelings of self-acceptance.
  And in the case of guilt, to develop courses of action to make amends for past behaviour.
• Reinforce self-esteem:
  Hypnotic suggestions can include positive affirmations and visualisations to boost self-confidence and self-esteem.

The combination of Hypnosis and NLP

At Solutions Hypnosis, the team members are also coaches trained in NLP – Neuro-Linguistic Programming – a magnificent toolbox for accelerating changes in behaviour or beliefs, developing self-confidence and working on self-esteem.

By combining NLP techniques and hypnosis, the work of inner change is remarkably effective, while adapting to the individual’s pace.

(end of story…)

After an intense session, the bag full of stones was dropped on the ground, the hot-air balloon took off, and the client – a strong guy over 50 – had a tear in his eye of relief…

Have you been feeling ashamed or guilty for too long and would like to try therapeutic hypnosis?

The entire Solutions Hypnosis team in Québec, Ontario and by video, is here to support you.

Depending on your situation and your goal, it may take a few sessions, or more if you wish to work on your self-confidence and self-esteem more generally with your hypnotherapist.

Either way, you’ll soon know if you like the hypnotic state and see positive results towards achieving your goals.

Make an appointment now to create the life you want through hypnosis!
We look forward to meeting you…

The Solutions Hypnosis team

Hypnosis Gatineau - Hypnosis Ottawa - Hypnosis Ontario - Hypnosis Beacon Hill - Hypnosis Gloucester - Hypnosis Cumberland - Hypnosis Montreal